Hey ! Where have you been ?

   I have had just under a year break from running and once again the need for speed has returned. My last return to running at the end of November 2013 lead to a national veterans 5km championship  bronze medal seven months later. I will not be doing the same amount of training this time round but I will be giving it 100% effort as usual come race days and I do intend to be at the national 5km championships next year even if its just to try and  get in the top twenty. Priority number one this time round is to keep the enjoyment factor at maximum.

  Why the break  ?

16th November 2014

 I arrive at the Leeds Abbey Dash 10k race feeling fully fit and capable of getting under 32 minutes, if I don't get under 32 minutes I'm sure I will be close enough to be happy considering with the way my training has been going. (I say happy but no matter what time I would of run on that day happy I would of definetly not been)
  I warmed up as usual and made my way to the start line come holding pen, standing there any thoughts I had of the race ahead slowly disappeared and once again I returned to the living hell within my head. Everything seems so loud and I  wish they would shut up, so bloody loud but yet I don't hear any words just noise. Thud, thud, thud yep that's my heart pounding like hell even though I'm just standing here, my heart rate is OK but my heart is trying to jump out of my chest.  My thoughts and my thinking process are in tatters, oh hell my brain is a complete mess, numb, full of horror, anxiety. What the hell have I done to myself. To be continued.

  No sympathy required.

  I have learned so much about mental health and if I can help just one person just one little bit then that would be awesome.

"Pull your socks up and man up", is just one of the many phrases you don't want to hear. It's funny how this phrase doesn't apply to physical injuries. Can you imagine someone going to the hospital with a broken leg and the doctor saying " Pull your sock up and man up. Next "